Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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