yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
