I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Randomize
