Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
