who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
