Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
