I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
