Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
