So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
