Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
