You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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