dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
