SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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