its not stalking. its research.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
