It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
