it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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