I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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