whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
