So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
