youre lurking in front of me
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So apparently I’m into choking now
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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