I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
