babies were throwing up all over the place
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
