bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
