Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
