when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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