In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
