In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
