I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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