They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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