This dress was meant to end up on your floor
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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