You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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