all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
