this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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