all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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