Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
