I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
