I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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