just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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