White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My legs feel like baby dolphins
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
