I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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