A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
