i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She bit a glass in half.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
