is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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