I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
we're so committed to being not committed
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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