go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
