the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
