I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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