My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
