Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
