What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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