I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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